Tag Archives: transsexual

The Messenger is as Important as the Message

LGBT – there was a time when none of us were accepted or tolerated. And then, things began to change. Here’s my take on how it happened, why it happened and where things are or are not headed. And please forgive me if it appears I’m generalizing and using stereotypes.

The “T” part of LGBT is falling dreadfully behind in attaining the tolerance and understanding of the western world. And I believe there are several reasons for this. But to understand it, I think it’s wise to look at the “L”, the “G” and the “B” to get an idea how they’ve accomplished what they have.

I’ll start with gays. From my experience, part of the gay community is … ummm .. detectable. Mannerisms, speech, appearance, a feminine edge .. the stereotypical stuff. But the other part just looks like average hetero guys.  Very nondescript.

In the lesbian world, a similar split exists (with a touch of androgyny in there for good measure). Some ladies have a distinctively masculine edge in mannerisms, speech and appearance .. again the stereotypical stuff. But many present to the world the way society expects hetero women to appear.

I’ll mention bisexuals just for the sake of inclusion but, to me at least, they’re the most invisible portion of the LGBT population. And the hetero world seems to think that bi women are hot, and bi men are not. But no one sees a person walking down the street and thinks “there’s a bisexual!”.  So they benefit from recent legislative or social changes, or not .. based on their current situation.

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It’s all about appearance

The vanilla world is comfortable with the status quo … those who look like them; those who act like them. And their queeziness is usually only triggered by those who don’t conform in appearance or mannerism. So because of this, half of the gay and lesbian world .. the invisible half .. gets a pass by default.

I remember some research done years ago regarding appearances. People of all ages were shown photos of people with varying degrees of “prettiness” or “handsomeness” and were asked to make assumptions based on what they saw. Were the people honest, trustworthy, intelligent, pleasant, miserable? And the result were uncanny. Those on both ends of the attractiveness scale didn’t rate too high but those on the attractive side of normal rated very highly. They were automatically considered more trustworthy, honest and intelligent than those on the other side of the median. Applying a slight amount of makeup changed the perception towards the positive.

Of course getting to know these people would probably change our opinions of them drastically but, if they climbed out of the photo and sat beside us silently, they would have a leg up on the others. The good feelings we had towards them were theirs to lose simply because they made us feel comfortable initially.

We’re built to size each other up quickly. Even if we’re presented with lots of evidence to the contrary, we’re attached to our initial impressions of people—which is why you should be aware of the impression you make on others. – Psychology Today

Now in the transgender world, the number of genetic males identifying as women (M2F) far exceeds the number of genetic women identifying as men (F2M, or trans men).

Trans men, for whatever the reason, on average seem to be more articulate in the way they present than t-girls (like me). And they rarely get a questioning look.

Trans girls, on the other hand, (and I’m generalizing again) rarely do a good job of presenting as an attractive, likeable person, and often appear (I’m being kind here) on the plain side of the median. And that presentation makes the uninformed around us very uncomfortable.

Let’s pretend for a moment that you are the court of tolerance; the court of public opinion. As the lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders lobby, discuss, educate and try to rally support for their respective causes, the lesbians stand before you looking like the woman next door or the somewhat tomboyish woman from down the street; the gays stand before you either looking like the guy next door or a really attractive guy from GQ magazine (giggle*) while the transgenders usually stand before you either looking like nothing you’ve ever seen before or like a scraggly, old chick from the hippie era. The “L” and “G”‘s, by appearance alone, have hit the ground running.

You hear their pleas, their “LG” points and counterpoints because your first impression is positive and their appearance didn’t distract you. But you didn’t hear a word the transgender said because it took you so long to adjust to the unfamiliar image in front of you.

The reason I bring all this up now is because of the lovely Panti Bliss. Panti (aka Rory O’Neill) is a gay drag queen in Ireland who is singlehandedly changing the way the Irish, their legislators and media think about gays and homophobia. Signs are appearing in shop windows proclaiming “we support Team Panti”. T-shirts are on the streets.  She’s pretty, well-spoken and sincere and a fabulous spokesperson for the gays in Ireland. And because of her likeable character, talking about how things make her feel is causing most people to want to help; to want to see the good side in people; to want to be less cruel.

Here’s Panti’s video that continues to draw so much attention. As you watch this, consider how different it’s impact would have if Rory was not in Panti-mode when it was done.

Do you understand what I’m trying to say?

As I prepare to head off to yet another conference where I’ll feel obligated to sit through boring keynote speeches by non-charismatic, non-Panti-like activists, I offer this:  To those of you who carry the torch for us, please know that, like it or not, your appearance, your physical presence, your charisma are important. Maybe more important than the legal or constitutional verbiage you quote.

Learn from Panti!

I know … most of you feel the world should accept us as we are. Absolutely! But until that time comes, let’s drop the “I gotta be me” and “dress for success”.

Or better still, lets find spokespeople who are a little more like Panti. Because the way we’re doing it just isn’t working regardless of the insignificant trivial tidbits our activists keep throwing at us as their successes.

Please note: I don’t believe that inherent attractiveness is a deciding factor in gaining acceptance. Large, small, tall, short, pretty, ugly, race, age … none of that is relevant. It’s all about the effort we put forward.  And on a personal note, if I didn’t try hard to appear presentable, you definitely would not be reading this nor visiting my website.  I could definitely be the queen of the scary ladies!  Trust me on this. 🙂

Staying “Real” in the Social Media Age

stockingfoot_640x480_6450I’ve been thinking about opening up a special type of membership to those who might be interested in supporting my website.  It might be something like $5 per month or less and, although paying members would see the same content as those who enjoy the site for free, I would be also be available for one-to-one text chat too.

As Yogi Berra once said, and I paraphrase, “You can observe a lot by just watching” (teehee!) and I’ve done this … for many, many years.  And have seen the evolution of the online world.

SeleenaK_X6449Since the social media and “sharing” sites have gained prominence, the internet has become a place where we’re desensitized to imagery.  Follow me on any of the social networking sites and you’ll see that my work often appears along side images of the most gorgeous models at their peak, and photographed by the most talented photographers ever.  Both my appearance and my photographic abilities shouldn’t put me on the same planet as them, let alone in the same timeline.  I know this.

So is there anything I can still offer?   Blogging is an option but I don’t really write that well.  Most blogs include photos “borrowed” from the web and I just won’t do that.

What I just might have going for me is that I’m real, I’m here and I’m now.  Marylin Monroe, Betty Page and Jane Russell are not. Irving Claw, Richard Avedon and Francesco Scavullo are gone too, and that hot, hung she-male’s photo you’re lusting after is likely many years old, and she probably stopped doing work like that long ago due to the exploitation in the genre.  And if you could find her, she probably doesn’t speak the same language as you anyway. teehee!

Mass online image sharing has greatly lessened my ability to grab a tiny sliver of the pie.  But I’m here, in the flesh, and I have the energy to interact with you.  And I can and will chat with you on just about any topic.  And your contribution would help take my site forward and would allow me even more ways of interacting with you.

Please comment here or message me directly with your thoughts on this. bimbo at seleenak dot com

A Visit From Our Friends

OMG! The gorgeous and extremely sexy Sensual Sara, formerly of sensualsara dot com, and her hubbie, the very dapper Mark, are coming to stay with Kim and me for a week. They arrive today.

They’re our best friends in the whole world and we know it will be a hot week here regardless how chilly it gets outside.

Don’t you wish she would get her website back online? I know I do.

If I’m really nice to Sara and Mark, it’s possible that they’ll help me with some photos or a video that I can share with you. And with any luck, my Kim will make an appearance too!

But with those two pairs of gorgeous legs in front of the camera, I’m wearing slacks!

What a way to close out the year!

Now .. on a less positive note, it appears there is an imposter on Yahoo pretending to be me. This person created a “Seleena K” profile on 06/16/10, claims to be female and has stolen and posted some photos from my website. They even went to the trouble of removing the copyright I add to all of my photos.

I’m certainly not female and my Yahoo profile has been around since 2005.

I’m pursuing this with Yahoo through their “Copyright and Intellectual Property Policy” and will take more serious action if the profile isn’t removed in the next couple days.

Please be aware that my Yahoo profile has been “hidden” between February 2010 and today, so any communication from Yahoo during that time did not come from me, except for those of you I IM with.

Some say that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” but flattery from an imposter and a thief is of little value. If you’ve run into this person on the web, please let me know.

Get a life, dude! and a big thanks to Navy Guy for bringing this to my attention.

Remembrance Day 2010

Today is known as Remembrance Day here in Canada. It’s a day to remember those who fought for our freedom.

On the 11th hour of the 11th day or the 11th month we observe a moment of silence.

I have two videos for you this year. Both came to me from my good friend, ET.

The first one is an all-Canadian musical tribute to our soldiers past and present. Like me, you might not be a country music fan but I think you’ll still like this one. Available in high definition and with a wonderful audio track, it’s a lot more upbeat than the video I shared with you last year.

The second video is a beautiful Vimy Ridge tribute from a group of Canadian high school students. Vimy ridge was the site of a battle during WW1 where many Canadians lost their lives.

And please .. take a moment of silence at 11:00 this morning to remember those who made the ultimate sacrifice, who fought to protect us or who continue to put themselves in harm’s way to preserve our freedom and the freedom of others.

My Website’s 3rd Anniversary

Yikes!  I just realized that I missed mentioning that SeleenaK dot com turned 3 years old just over a month ago.

I suppose it’s a meaningless milestone but to me it’s an accomplishment.  I really didn’t expect to still be here but your encouragement has kept me going.

I’ve considered making changes .. big changes .. several times but keep coming back to what seems to work for me and for you right now.

My wardrobe budget is still tight, and my search for a photographer to help me has brought some possibilities but nothing firm yet.  But ya know what?  I’ll continue doing what I’m doing as long as you keep coming back.

Doing this is important to me.  And I do it for you, and for me.

You Had To Be There

So a guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator. Oops! Wrong story.

I was out with friends recently. Some I had never met in person and a few that I hadn’t seen in a long time. And someone asked “So .. what’s new?”

Without hesitation, the cute one, who resembles Drew Barrymore, sitting right in the middle of us all spoke right up “Well, I have a pussy now!”

That was very, very funny Melan.  Congrats again on your surgery and thanks for sharing that with us *giggling*.

Any “news” the rest of us had to share seemed inconsequential after that. 🙂

Staying Close to Home

It seems that I’ve become a bit of a stay-at-home girl lately.  Not sure why but I’m guessing that either a psychiatrist or an astrologer could tell me.

No, I haven’t had a traumatic experience out there in the big, bad world of tranny haters.  I think my interests have just changed and “making the scene” is not so important to me right now.

I still have one girlfriend I visit occasionally and “JJ” still comes to visit me sometimes but other than that, hanging out here with Kim is where I’m most content.

SeleenaK_4790crI do find it interesting that people come into my life, stay a while and move on.  We remain emotionally close even if we don’t see each other often.  I think I satisfy some short term emotional need for some.  We talk .. I help.

Advice based on reality and compassion for those around us (who don’t really understand) appears to be my specialty.  I’ve never lost sight of the fact that “we” are the different one’s and that who we are, and what we do, is very much against most people’s comfort zones.  If we move through live with that in mind, we stay safe, are less hurtful to others and avoid a lot of personal pain and confrontation.

Sometimes others take my advice, sometimes they don’t but having heard my unique perspective maybe helps them in their decision-making.  And sometimes it’s just about having a non-judgmental listener.

I  can’t be greedy and expect anything to be forever but I just hope they are better off for having known me.  “Fly little birdie!  Fly!”

And then there’s you.  I know some of you are just passing through but some of you do come back .. and often.  My site stats show this.  No, I can’t see any of your personal information but I can see repeat visitor counts.

I do my best, both in my photos and in my writings, to help you to actually know me .. I think that’s important.  And ya know what? I think I know you too.

Not your name, what you look like or where you live.  No no no.  It’s something even more personal than those things.  It’s that thing deep down in your soul that draws you here.  I understand it.  I really do.  And it’s special.

Yep, there certainly are prettier, sexier girls in the cyber world (I’m not even going to mention “cock pics” .. hehe!) yet you come back.  Whether it’s for the overall style, the leggy looks, to get some advice or tips, or maybe even  for wanking material, you come back.

That makes me feel really good.  Thank you!

Feet

Either you love them or you hate them.  Well, I guess you could be indifferent to them too.  But there is a huge number of you, both men and women, who find feet terribly erotic.

SeleenaK_0343sPersonally, I do find them erotic, especially when clad in ultra-sheer nylon. To me, they are another very erogenous part of the body not to be ignored.  But over the years I’ve become quite adaptive in my preferences.

If feet are your thing, I’m in!  And maybe obsessively, because it’s all about pleasing your partner, isn’t it?

Have you ever been somewhere, out in public maybe, and noticed some freshly-pedicured toes and thought to yourself ‘how hot it would be to take them in your mouth, one at a time, and gently lick and suck each one?  I know I have.  And from some of the comments and requests I get here, I know many of you feel the same way.

This erotically flexible (or maybe confused) bimbo also loves to come at this from the other side.  Feeling your warm fingers and hot wet tongue massaging my feet and sucking my toes makes me wetter that a Navy Seal.

But the problem for me is that I’m a visual girl and I get quite frustrated with the appearance of my own feet and toes.  No matter how well the pedicure went or how much lotion I massage in, I still think they look like “tranny feet”.   I’ve included a couple recent photos here as “evidence” .. hehe!

“Sure I like to suck toes, but prefer to have my toes sucked.” ~ Madonna

Yes, there is genital surgery, facial surgery, breast augmentation, vocal chord surgery .. even a procedure to remove that lowest rib but to my knowledge there is no “fix” for tranny feet.

Now, I’m not a cosmetic surgery type of girl  and would likely be too afraid to risk any procedure that messes with those very important two things down there that allow me to wear heels with SeleenaK_0347svigor but it would be nice to  know that something exists for me to decline.  :-0

But to the rescue is YOU, faithful website visitor.  You seem to like my feet just the way they are!  And your comments are so sweet.

My favorite comment of all was one from a sweetie who was watching  one of my videos and emailed me to say “when you spread your nylon-clad toes, I gasped!” .

Why my emphasis on feet these days?  Karyn Lord, a gorgeous, sweet and very sexy genetic woman on my favorite nylon fetish website, openly shares her passion for feet in words and photos and frankly I’ve been caught up in her whirlwind.

So, let me know if you’d like to see more of this type of thing here on my site.  Leg shots are still the most popular request, follow by bondage photos and videos, but if the demand is higher, I’ll do my best to accommodate.

Some final notes:   I’ve been a bit reclusive lately.  It seems to be a summer time thing for me. When the weather is warm, the patio here at home is where I’m happiest.  I hope to be a little more “out there” in the coming months but we’ll see how it goes.

I hope to have some photos to share with you of my exploits.

My 20-Something Transgender Friend

I met a new friend online recently. A very young TS who lives not too far away from me. I won’t tell you her name because that’s not important but she’s one of a very short list of very young trans girls that have left a very big impression on me. She’s as delightful and well spoken as the comedic Jessica Who and has an attitude that’s so different than most of the girls closer to my age.

The baggage and bitterness is not present; no chip on her sweet shoulders. She just lives her life 24/7 as she knows she should.

I’m not expert on the pre-op or post-op thing although I do know several girls who have had the surgery and even more that are anxiously awaiting “the knife”.  For those waiting. the surgery is imperative; it’s non-negotiable and the feeling is that life can never be “normal” until it’s done.

And a surprisingly high percentage of them will take their own lives after the procedure is complete.

But here is a young person who truly believes that surgery wouldn’t make her any more of a woman than she is today.  And ya know what?  I agree and believe she feels that way in her heart.  She looks like any other 20-something genetic girl out there, is very attractive (a hottie, actually .. whew), projects nothing but femininity and has the same spark in her eyes as her genetic girl friends.

My new friend doesn’t hate her penis nor does she think it defines her gender.  And it doesn’t.  The brain is in charge of that.

From my experience, the transguys out there seem more capable of doing this.  The surgery to make them fully functional as males is expensive, and the success rate is not high.  So most move on, strap-on in hand, and give their brain permission to define their gender.  Most are very successful and have friends, families and careers regardless of what’s in their boxer shorts.  And are dudes in every sense of the word.

My friend doesn’t hang around with others like her .. looking for “support”, whining about how nature dealt her a bad hand, and competing in hormone dosage comparisons and cup size competitions.  She (with her parents help and consent) simply did what she needed to do to feel comfortable within her own skin.

She understands womanhood totally and honestly presents like any other girl her age. No scrambling to look like she fits in. She does! Some of it might be the luck of the draw but a lot of it is definitely attitude.

Is she lucky? Maybe. Is her timing good?   Yes .. the world is so much more receptive today than it was not that many years ago.  Is she courageous?  Possibly.  But she could never be a positive example to the older girls who struggle so much. They wouldn’t allow it.

I had always found the concept of hormone therapy and gender reassignment at a very young age to be worrisome at best.  But I now understand that it’s the right time to begin living as the gender you know you were meant to be and medically supervised hormone therapy is a big help.

Funny how a relative newcomer to the t-world can help an older girl like me put things in perspective.

I hope I haven’t offended anyone with my thoughts on this and apologize if I have. But since this is a free website, you can’t ask for your money back. 🙂