Tag Archives: sub

Domination and Submission

I’m taking a break from the pre-holiday festivities to get a little philosophical.  If you don’t identify as a Domme or a sub, you may want to skip this blog entry entirely.

Domination and Submission

I read a few things recently regarding D/s that I’d like to share with you.

The terms “Dominant” and “submissive” mean different things to a lot of people. And it seems to me that many are quick to label themselves and take on the behaviour they believe matches that label. But to others, it’s quite easy to read as an obvious charade.

Submissives who “Top from the bottom” and Dominants who believe that rudeness and bitchiness should be respected are everywhere. And personally, I find both types to be offensive.

So this is why the following makes so much sense to me.

Submissive? An acquaintance “mutilato” believes the following, and I agree:

All submissives have at least one of these qualities:

  • Are you lowly and must be degraded?
  • Are you lost and must be owned?
  • Are you docile and must serve?
  • Are you free and must be bound?
  • Are you bad and must be punished?
  • Are you a whore and must be fucked?
  • Are you everyone’s and must be shared?

And “tami” pointed out the following words from J. Mikael Togneri as a way of defining a Dominant:


  • A dominant is a ruler, but never a tyrant. But to rule requires understanding, and understanding requires humility.
  • A dominant has pride, but never arrogance. But pride requires dignity, and dignity requires humility.
  • A dominant commands respect, but never fear. But respect requires serenity, and serenity requires humility.
  • A dominant employs strength, but never force. But strength requires knowledge, and knowledge requires humility.
  • A dominant criticizes, but never derides. But criticism requires insight, and insight requires humility.
  • A dominant receives, but never takes. But receiving requires giving, and giving requires humility.
  • A dominant completes, but never tries to alter. But to complete one must be able to see what is there, not what is missing, and this most of all requires humility.

 In short, to use an archaic phrase, noblesse oblige, if a dominant is the center of a Submissive’s universe, it is because the submissive thinks so, not because the Dominant does. No one is respected, let alone obeyed, just coz.

The truth of the matter is that owning is at least as much work as being owned.”

Seven pillars of life. Seven pillars of wisdom

Thanks for reading … I’m heading back into “bimbo mode” now. “Where’s the eggnog?”