Tag Archives: social media

Facebook Still Confuses Me

SeleenaK_2011-10-21-14.38.17I think I’ve been a Facebook person since 2007 or 2008, and although very little surprises me in life, my own reaction to Facebook continues to confuse me.  I know what I should do, yet I find it so difficult.

First off, social media has evolved into a place where seeking ego massages or  “preaching to the choir” is the reason most belong.

I suppose, in life,  we  all tend to congregate with those who’s view we share but if you’re looking for support for your cause, only a coward would ask for support from those we already know support us.  Does that make sense?

For example, let’s say I’m an advocate for the better treatment of animals.  Would it not make sense that I should plead my case to a group who might be known for poor treatment of animals?  Let’s face it, pleading my case to the SPCA is a waste of time, since they already share my feelings.  And continually showing the SPCA folks how badly animals are sometimes treated serves no purpose (they already know) except to possibly throw their views of life out of balance.

Likewise, if it’s about politics, go to the other side to try to obtain support; to possibly convert someone from an opposing ideology instead of whining continually to those who already share your views.

If you feel that a particular politician is an idiot, tell him! Tell his followers!  Discuss!  Argue!  But telling those of us who already feel that way just adds a ton of negativity with no chance for meaningful discussion that could possible change opinions.

PREACH TO THE CONVERTED (THE CHOIR) – Propound an argument to people who already support it. ~ phrases.org

So why am I telling you this?  Well, social media, in general, and Facebook, in particular, has become a bit of a downer for me, mainly for the reason I just mentioned.  I just ran out of tolerance for hearing the same cowardly complaints, over and over again, directed at the wrong audience.

So I started looking at my Friends list and found that I had almost never “unfriended” anyone  but rather kept them as friends yet “unfollowed” them, thereby not seeing anything they post unless it’s in direct response to something I, or another “followed” friend had posted.   Quite cowardly, isn’t it?

Because those who continually make your day unpleasant are really unlikely to be someone you’d want to spend time with .. online or in person.

Maybe I’m just too pragmatic.  But your need to vent doesn’t trump my need to smile.  Unless you’re a close friend.

Then I’m here for you.

A Window into the Soul?

SeleenaK_2011-10-21-14.38.17I expressed disappointment to a close friend about the online behavior of a someone I would soon be meeting at an in-person event.  “But he’s really a nice person.  You’ll see when you meet him” she said.

Without having met him, I already know how wrong her observation is.  When we’re out in public, we’re on our best behavior.  For almost everyone, it’s something that’s easy to do for a relatively short period of time.  We’re in the “make a good impression” mindset.  We can guess at how long a time we’ll spend in the presence of others and therefore know how long we’ll have to “be nice”.  We get mentally prepared.

But we rarely get mentally prepared for the time we spend online.  We’re online doing email, chatting and posting when we’re happy, sad, wide awake, very sleepy, feeling great, feeling bad, and when we’re comfortably unprepared.  And these varying states of mind allow the real “us” to appear.

Nice people shine and not-so-nice people are exposed.  Me included.

So don’t give me any of that “it’s hard to know what someone is like without hearing their voice inflections and seeing their body language” nonsense.

Read the words and watch for repetitive behaviors.  Ninety-nine percent of the time, your feeling will be correct.  And you need to be able to write off the one percent because my imperfect theory had probably kept you safe .. physically and emotionally.

Trust your eyes and your brain.  Rationalizing and wishful thinking will get you in trouble.  And we, in the transgender world, are often the most susceptible;  the most needy of attention and affection.

It’s often been said that they eyes,  the heart, or the smile is a window into the soul.  But I believe it’s really that plastic, electronics-filled box in front of you.

The online personality you see in there is a window into a person’s soul.

Staying “Real” in the Social Media Age

stockingfoot_640x480_6450I’ve been thinking about opening up a special type of membership to those who might be interested in supporting my website.  It might be something like $5 per month or less and, although paying members would see the same content as those who enjoy the site for free, I would be also be available for one-to-one text chat too.

As Yogi Berra once said, and I paraphrase, “You can observe a lot by just watching” (teehee!) and I’ve done this … for many, many years.  And have seen the evolution of the online world.

SeleenaK_X6449Since the social media and “sharing” sites have gained prominence, the internet has become a place where we’re desensitized to imagery.  Follow me on any of the social networking sites and you’ll see that my work often appears along side images of the most gorgeous models at their peak, and photographed by the most talented photographers ever.  Both my appearance and my photographic abilities shouldn’t put me on the same planet as them, let alone in the same timeline.  I know this.

So is there anything I can still offer?   Blogging is an option but I don’t really write that well.  Most blogs include photos “borrowed” from the web and I just won’t do that.

What I just might have going for me is that I’m real, I’m here and I’m now.  Marylin Monroe, Betty Page and Jane Russell are not. Irving Claw, Richard Avedon and Francesco Scavullo are gone too, and that hot, hung she-male’s photo you’re lusting after is likely many years old, and she probably stopped doing work like that long ago due to the exploitation in the genre.  And if you could find her, she probably doesn’t speak the same language as you anyway. teehee!

Mass online image sharing has greatly lessened my ability to grab a tiny sliver of the pie.  But I’m here, in the flesh, and I have the energy to interact with you.  And I can and will chat with you on just about any topic.  And your contribution would help take my site forward and would allow me even more ways of interacting with you.

Please comment here or message me directly with your thoughts on this. bimbo at seleenak dot com

Social Networking Rant

Rant Mode ON

Well, I’ve done it again .. even though I promised myself that I wouldn’t. I’ve joined yet another social networking website.

Not that many years ago, girls like me felt alone .. as though they were the only one’s with this passion. Contact magazines and adult bookstores provided the only opportunity to meet others, and it wasn’t pretty.

Then along came computers and telecommunications, and everything changed.  Dial-up bulletin boards and IRC chat quickly illustrated that there are others like us out there.  And they weren’t all the stereotypical “SheMales” with the gigantic implants and huge cocks.  Feelings of optimism and excitement sweep over us.  Phone line connections gave us the opportunity to connect to others but the time necessary for modems to connect and slow download speeds meant we had to stop and think about where we were going before we went there.

The high speed connection and the Internet emerged.  And we then had the ability to perv more websites in a minute that we could in an entire evening.  And everyone’s fingers was trying to find our purses, try to squeeze money from us.

Social networking sites, sites where people of similar interests can share and socialize, began to spring up .. and the number of them out there continues to grow, even today.  The dust hasn’t settled yet, and no winners have been declared in the race to be THE networking site.

So much for the “history according to Bimbo”.

I have my hands full.  I have a Yahoo360 presence I’d like to put to sleep (except that it brings a fair amount of traffic to this website), a URNA profile I look in on every month of so, a YouTube video account, a Facebook profile for my male side, an Alt dot com membership (that has given me the most real life contacts as well as my very best, and very worst, chatroom experiences), and Instant Messaging profiles on both MSN and Yahoo.  I still belong to several Yahoo “special interest” groups but always fall behind on their posts.  I’ve also turned down numerous requests to “Join Me” on countless other sites.  And I have this website … photo gallery updates, bi-weekly chat and this blog.  It’s the thing I’m most committed to right now.

So therein lies my dilemma.  I’ve joined another one.  So now there’s one more online community for me to neglect.  And I hate that … because I’ve always done my very best to be attentive to those who I’m connected to.  At one time it felt overwhelming but now it just saddens me.  I’m really not like this!  When someone speaks to me, I answer!

I expect FetLife to be yet another place where I have to keep fending off requests to meet at the drop of a hat.  But who knows … just maybe it’ll be the “special one”.  After all, a very interesting guy suggested it to me.

So, please bear with me, but until I figure out where I really need to be, I’m keeping a presence in too many places for my own good.

Rant mode is now off