Tag Archives: genital reconstruction surgery

My 20-Something Transgender Friend

I met a new friend online recently. A very young TS who lives not too far away from me. I won’t tell you her name because that’s not important but she’s one of a very short list of very young trans girls that have left a very big impression on me. She’s as delightful and well spoken as the comedic Jessica Who and has an attitude that’s so different than most of the girls closer to my age.

The baggage and bitterness is not present; no chip on her sweet shoulders. She just lives her life 24/7 as she knows she should.

I’m not expert on the pre-op or post-op thing although I do know several girls who have had the surgery and even more that are anxiously awaiting “the knife”.  For those waiting. the surgery is imperative; it’s non-negotiable and the feeling is that life can never be “normal” until it’s done.

And a surprisingly high percentage of them will take their own lives after the procedure is complete.

But here is a young person who truly believes that surgery wouldn’t make her any more of a woman than she is today.  And ya know what?  I agree and believe she feels that way in her heart.  She looks like any other 20-something genetic girl out there, is very attractive (a hottie, actually .. whew), projects nothing but femininity and has the same spark in her eyes as her genetic girl friends.

My new friend doesn’t hate her penis nor does she think it defines her gender.  And it doesn’t.  The brain is in charge of that.

From my experience, the transguys out there seem more capable of doing this.  The surgery to make them fully functional as males is expensive, and the success rate is not high.  So most move on, strap-on in hand, and give their brain permission to define their gender.  Most are very successful and have friends, families and careers regardless of what’s in their boxer shorts.  And are dudes in every sense of the word.

My friend doesn’t hang around with others like her .. looking for “support”, whining about how nature dealt her a bad hand, and competing in hormone dosage comparisons and cup size competitions.  She (with her parents help and consent) simply did what she needed to do to feel comfortable within her own skin.

She understands womanhood totally and honestly presents like any other girl her age. No scrambling to look like she fits in. She does! Some of it might be the luck of the draw but a lot of it is definitely attitude.

Is she lucky? Maybe. Is her timing good?   Yes .. the world is so much more receptive today than it was not that many years ago.  Is she courageous?  Possibly.  But she could never be a positive example to the older girls who struggle so much. They wouldn’t allow it.

I had always found the concept of hormone therapy and gender reassignment at a very young age to be worrisome at best.  But I now understand that it’s the right time to begin living as the gender you know you were meant to be and medically supervised hormone therapy is a big help.

Funny how a relative newcomer to the t-world can help an older girl like me put things in perspective.

I hope I haven’t offended anyone with my thoughts on this and apologize if I have. But since this is a free website, you can’t ask for your money back. 🙂