I’m always looking to get involved, to stay engaged. And for the longest time, I’ve wondered if this is an area where I can actually help others in some small way.
You see, while moving around the ‘trans web’ .. blogs, websites, chat rooms .. I see a lot of pain, a lot of carnage, a lot of well intended bad advice. We come out to spouses, kids, friends and work associates just as we’re told by our peers and things get ugly.
Yes, the rabbit hole is there but I honestly believe there’s a way around it for many of us without falling down the hole in exactly the same way as so many before us.
I have no experience with how therapists recommend we tell others about our deep dark secret because, it would appear, we only see a therapist after the damage is done, to help us pick up the pieces. In fact, I have no training in this area at all and bring nothing more to the topic than open-minded experience watching other’s pain and being a good listener and shoulder to cry on. .
In my opinion, the biggest lie propagated within the trans community is “If they love you, they’ll understand” ~ me
So what I’m proposing is to create a resource .. a website maybe .. with ‘best practices’ based on emotionless common sense and feedback from others. And ideally a section for blindsided spouses and family members to get practical info on why it happened and what to expect. Something for us to read .. to consider .. before we tell, and something for them to read .. to consider .. after they hear.
So as I mull this over in my head, email me your thoughts or comment here. Or better yet, send me YOUR advice .. the “Do’s” and “Don’t’s” from your angle. And if you know a therapist who might be interested in contributing, please let me know that too.
When it feels so right, it’s easy to become delusional about the way the world perceives us. This is often known as The Pink Fog, and doesn’t give us much of a chance to make it work. – me, again
The progressive uprising of the last 8 or 9 years has made us bold and demanding and has created fictitious monsters for us to blame for our pain but it hasn’t offered a path to happiness.
I’d love to be able to help with that.